Dearest Madeline,
I feel like I’ve been chased and ripped apart by wolves.
Last night, he was just with me, sweet as sugar, comforting as warm milk. Now, he’s gone. Never to return again, perhaps.
I am reacquainted with this heaviness in my chest. I can feel the void eating my heart from the inside. Hollow, my heart has become, so it seems. Don’t you find it funny, that something is missing, yet it feels as though the weight of the world is strapped upon your back? I never got that whole concept.
I can not fathom how the same person who brought me back summer, now took the sun, and left me out in the cold. Absurd. Cruel, even.
Madie, I was the side dish to his main course. It was her from the very beginning, her ’til the end. Is that all I will ever be? Someone’s confused choice? A trial and error girl?
I was skeptical, you know? I was afraid to get attached, afraid to get hurt for the billionth time, afraid I might end up as the wrong choice. But I gave it a shot, took the risk, gave in to the notion of love, in the hope that this time will be different. I had hoped that it would not leave me shattered, and scattered in the pavement, like road kill.
Why is my happiness always so short-lived? Shorter than normal.
He can never get over her smile. I mean, who can blame him? She’s top shelf. But alas, that was pretty low, even for him. How could he have given me so much to hold on to, when, right from the start, he was unsure of how he felt about me? Did he even like me?
All these thoughts are flooding my senses. I can not see the sunshine, though it is day. I can not hear the sweet music the birds used to sing. I can not feel the warmth of another’s embrace. I can not smell the fragrant flowers in the garden. I can not taste the sweetness of this chocolate cake, I am now eating.
Nothing.
I feel empty.
Your Friend,
Beatrice
P.S. I wish you were here beside me, sitting in the coffee shop, drinking tea, and banishing all our worries.
Words Unspoken 