On the Wrong Side of the Bed

i wake up to the same thing
something that i don’t know
i wake up to it and i don’t feel anything
but i also feel everything
is it something that i had?
or i think i had?
or i had for a while
but i can’t have now
and is it a person
a desire
a sensation
is it something that hurt me? yes
but i’m still looking for it\
even when i don’t know what i’m looking for.
opposite to that.
is it something i fear?
A situation i am now in.
like waking up to a house, alone.
or being told that you’re worthless
that you’re a second choice
or that it was all for play
or revenge
these things from the past
i’ve boxed them up
i’ve set them aside
but somehow, they’ve managed to come out
and haunt me, and hunt me down.